Addicted

I think I may have a problem. I am addicted to Johnny Cash. I have listened to him (or Joaquin Phoenix) for the past 5 days... the same 40-some songs. And now, last night, I bought this. Because of my purchase, I have found out that he (Air Force) and my father (Army) did the same thing when in the armed services: listen to the Russians. However, besides being in different branches and 10 years apart in service, my dad could have totally been friends with Johnny Cash.

Is my title insensitive considering all of the addiction problems JR had?

UPDATE: 12/31/05 - Okay so maybe today at Target I bought another Cash CD. Okay, technically it was 2, but it all came in one package.

A Christmas Miracle!

Okay. So, I didn't get this out before going to the 'Nati, but better late than never right? (The correct answer is "Yes" you whining little brats. No really, I love you guys... pains in the ass. Now, shut up and read.)

So, for our third installment (oh, good Lord, that statistic is horrible. New Year’s Resolution #1: Try to do one write-up per month), we go to what may be my favorite movie (definitely my favorite John Hughes movie) of all time… Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Since I know this movie so well (almost by heart) I only watched the John Hughes commentary version on the DVD…that was back in June/July (maybe earlier) when I actually meant to be writing about this. Oh well. I have seen (at least parts) of the movie on TV since then, but not all of it, and not with my handy-dandy notebook, therefore, this write-up will probably be a little bit different. Also, since I am doing this from my parents, links and other fun things will be added later. (Side note, I totally wrote this up while listening to Johnny Cash with my parents… we all heart him.)

“The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh... you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.”

We open on an affluent neighborhood (supposedly) in Chicago (where else? In this case Long Beach actually). Ferris, the impish teenager the whole town knows and loves, has decide he needs another day off of school on this bright, beautiful spring day. And, what easier way to get out of school than to fake being sick (I did this mostly in the 4th grade (I HATE you Ms. Bunker), not so much in high school)? His parents, clueless yuppies, buy his act and his sister Jeanie can do nothing but stand idly by and watch him get away with it (Ferris appears to be the favorite… or at least he is somewhat babied by his parents… not that I would know anything about that). John Hughes Commentary (JHC): The actors playing Mom and Pop Bueller ended up getting married in real life and at the time of the movie Matthew Broderick and Jennifer Grey were dating.

Anyway, the parents go off to work and Jeanie off to school. Ferris goes to the shower and gives himself a faux-hawk (he was so ahead of his time). JHC: Matt plays Ferris as a child, but he is also into politics. Perhaps this is to show the transition between child and adult? Hmmm…

“Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?”

Now for the role, that, I believe, is the ENTIRE basis of Ben Stein’s acting/show business career, the most boring high school economics teacher ever. Although, if this guy had been your 1st period teacher you know you would have skipped too. Don’t give me that. You know you would have. JHC: This was to show the total non-communication that sometimes exists between teachers and students.

“The place is like a museum. It’s very beautiful and very cold, and you’re not allowed to touch anything.”

Cut to a modern, austere mansion; the home of Ferris’ BFF, Cameron Frye (otherwise known as the annoying guy in Speed… not Keanu, the other one). Cameron is also home from school sick. Unlike Ferris however, Cameron actually believes he is ill (although really he is just an uptight hypochondriac). JHC: 1. It’s JH’s hand when the speakerphone button is pushed. 2. Cameron is based on a friend of JH’s from high school.

Meanwhile, back at school. Mr. Rooney, the dean of students (and a pedophile), calls Mama Bueller to inform her that this is actually Ferris’ 9th sick day. Although, amazingly as they are talking this number suddenly changes. Who could be doing that? Perhaps the coolest nerd ever? JHC: Rooney is really pompous. At his job he is the “emperor of the children” but he can’t talk to their parents. JH then goes on to comment on the relationship between Rooney and Grace (the annoying neighbor from The Hogan Family).

JHC: This is the same high school as in The Breakfast Club. Also, they used real high school students as the extras with the rest of the cast who was in their 20s.

JHC: The relationship between Rooney and Grace (the annoying neighbor from The Hogan Family): Rooney takes his job (too) seriously (not that it isn’t a serious job, but come on man… unclench), but he has no respect for the kids. Not for who they are, or what they think, or what they may know. He is really just a walking cliché. Grace, on the other hand, likes kids. She understands high school society and hierarchy. For some reason though, she also worships Rooney and provides him an ego boost.

“He'll keep calling me, he'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is uh... This is ridiculous, ok I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. What - I'LL GO. Shit.”

Eventually Ferris convinces Cameron to come over for their day off. Now, they just need to get Ferris’ girlfriend, Sloane, out of school. This, of course, means that Cameron needs to pretend to be her father to call Mr. Rooney and tell him her Grandma is dead. JHC: The dead grandma ruse is common and they just wanted to get Rooney to say it was a fake excuse to set him up for the next fall. After he already accuses “Sloane’s Dad” of being Ferris, Ferris calls in on another line; now they have Rooney where they want him. However, Cameron goes too far, first telling Rooney that Sloane needs to be outside alone and then that Rooney should accompany her.

Because of his mistake, Ferris, as any good friend would do (or at least as the friends I have would do), makes Cam pay. The price? A 1961 Ferrari 250GT California (in other words a car worth more than your life).

I mean, what else would they use? They have to convince Rooney that Ferris is actually Sloane’s dad and no stinking Volvo is going to do it, nor would walking since Ferris doesn’t actually have a car (“I could be the walrus and I'd still have to bum rides off of people.”)

After a very incestuous appearing kiss. Ferris, Sloane, and Cameron are off for their big adventure in the city.

Ferris, ever the one to cover his ass (sadly, even in the shower scene), sets up all the answering machines with the appropriate excuses and puts the mannequin in his bed…you know just in case someone should stop by.

“Hi. Do you speak English?”
“Uh, what country do you think this is?”

This is how you know it is and ‘80s movie. That is, unless it was to make a point, I don’t think they would make someone so… unwittingly racists (?). Not that JH wasn’t making a point about over privileged, white-suburban teenagers, but he doesn’t actually mention it in the commentary. The JHC is just that the parking attendant read it differently each time.

Anyway, against Cam’s protests, they leave the car for the sights and sounds of downtown Chicago.

1. The John Hancock Building (been there, very tall).

2. The Commodities Market (haven’t been there. JHC: This location was to highlight Cameron’s family situation. This is a self-indulgence for him in his pity. Not that I every realized this before; not that I realized where they even really were. I had no idea.).

3. Fancy-Schmancy restaurant (haven’t been there. JHC: Restaurant is in LA.) where Ferris becomes Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago, (I’m not going into the commentary here, because, frankly? Not that interesting.) and they are almost caught by Ferris’ dad.

Rooney is a man on a mission and now he has gone a little bit too far by leaving school grounds to catch one kid (Sloane and Cameron are nothing to Rooney; he just wants Ferris). JHC: Now it is personal to Rooney. JH tried to show Rooney in the world of adults, where he fits so poorly. He is ill equipped to operate outside of the school (not that he is oh-so-good operating in the school) and he is nothing outside.

More field trip. Up next?
4. Cubs game (never been, but I have been to a White Sox game. JHC: He was not a Cubs fan, but there were no White Sox games that day. There had also been a bit here where Ferris went to a radio station to announce that he was going into space, but then the Challenger explosion happened and it was cut. Good choice I think.).

Rooney is a man over the edge. No longer is he just visiting Casa de Bueller, now he is looking for a way inside to see if Ferris is really sick. Dude, seriously, let it go.

5. The Chicago Art Institute (been there, stood in front of the Seurat painting. The only thing I think they are missing on their tour about Chicago is the Museum of Science and Industry. They could have totally worked in 1mm thick cross-sections of people somewhere.) JHC: This whole section (Art Institute incase my tangent confused you) was improvised. The Art Institute had been a refuge for JH growing up and he used all of his favorite paintings. The Seurat is like a movie; you don’t know what you have until you step back.

6. The last stop and one of my favorite parts of the film (the other being when Ferris tell us how to fake being sick… not that I ever used his suggestions or anything… please don’t tell my mom), the German Day Parade. JHC: This was an actual parade that they just put their float in without anyone knowing. The Governor of Illinois was even there that day. JH was showcasing the German heritage of Chicago (and much of the Midwest). Just in case we weren’t sure JH tells us Matt was lip-synching Danke Schoen and Twist and Shout. But, the people that were singing along were real. They also used local talent. Apparently, Paul McCartney didn’t appreciate JH’s addition of the horns to Twist and Shout. But, JH reasoned that there was a band there and he should fit them in. He also pointed out that Twist and Shout made it back onto the charts because of the movie.

Back to the ‘burbs. JHC: The town JH grew up in let them paint “Save Ferris” on their water tower.

Rooney has made it into the house and at this point, but Jeanie is also there. They end up attacking each other. This is what sets-up Jeanie making out with Charlie Sheen (I think it is mentioned in the commentary, but I didn’t write it down, but, supposedly Charlie put Vaseline under his eyelids to make himself appear drugged-out… I don’t know how much I believe it was Vaseline and how much I believe it was actual drugs.).

Back to Ferris et al, Cam is relaxed, finally. He had a fun day, they didn’t get caught and the car isn’t wrecked yet (oops, did I give the end away?). But, then they notice the mileage; it doesn’t add up.

After Cam freaks-out they try to take the miles off by running the car in reverse (Does anyone know if that really works? I mean, obviously not in this case but in real life? I am guessing no…but I can neither confirm nor deny this.).

“You killed the car.”

After Cameron kicks the car out of the window (D’OH), he decides to finally take a stand for himself with his parents. He will no longer be pushed around and ignored. He will no longer be replaced by a car. At the same time, Ferris is finally willing to take responsibility for something he did. JHC: Cam’s reaction is the only thing Ferris didn’t anticipate all day. But this time, Cameron decided to do it on his own.

After this jam-packed day Ferris still needs to make it home before his parents (insert highly amusing montage of Ferris running (remember no car). Really, just watch the movie already; you know you want to.). With a little help from Jeanie (who has come to some realizations with the Help of Druggie Sheen), Ferris manages to thwart Rooney in the last seconds and make it into bed before his parents find him out (what else did you expect? He is our hero.).

Okay, it is very early Christmas morning… watch this space for updates including fun links and maybe another post concerning other Ferris Bueller analysis out there on the interweb.



Oh Yeah.

Chikka chikka.

Flickr

I have updated Flickr with pictures of my walk today. Sadly, it was being slow and the files were large, so hopefully there will be more added later when I can get to a better/faster connection.

The Man in Black

So, Angela and I went to see Walk the Line... and it was awesome. Because of this I decided to finally purchase some of the Johnny Cash music I have had in my "shopping cart" for probably the past year or so (not that this proves I am not jumping on the Johnny Cash bandwagon after seeing the movie). Besides bringing my total from over $1000 down to only $950 (plus applicable sales tax), I also got 4 albums (I splurged a bit, oh well it's Christmas) and a new love for The Man in Black.

On a slightly disturbing note, I have found that so far my two favorite songs are two of the more... how do you say... violent?... songs. Folsom Prison Blues and Cocaine Blues. I have to believe that it has to be the sounds of the songs that I like so much since I can't really relate to prison, shooting people, or doing cocaine. Either that or my subconscious has been doing some stuff without me knowing.

PS - No Angela this isn't the big update I was talking about... aw man, now everyone knows and I'll have to actually do it. Well maybe this will be be enough of a kick in the ass to get me to do it. Intrigued?

Orange Crush

For awhile now I have been envious of various friends who have crushes. You see, I haven't had a good crush in a very long time.

Maybe I should explain the type of crush I mean. The type of crush I speak of is not the "I like X celebrity" (Michael Vartan) or even one on a "normal" person that could transpire to be more. Rather, I just wanted one where I could see the person and smile, but know nothing will ever happen with them... Actually, not even want anything to happen with them, because that would kind of ruin it all.

So, there was a dry spell on crushes of a very, very long time for me. And that made me very sad. There was nothing to look forward to in my day. No random guy I would see on the 'tro or in the office to just lust after. No cute boy along my new route into work to "bump" into. No one to star in my dreams at night.... er,hmmm... that may be more than you all needed to know. Sorry. There was just no one around that made me secretly smile.

There is just something nice and fun about having a crush, even if, maybe especially if you know it isn't going anywhere, not wanting it to go anywhere, but deep down knowing the it could go somewhere (that is if I really wanted it to and weren't too chicken to make it happen).

But, I need not fret anymore. I have not one but two crushes. Which, in this case is good, because then they can take turns at night, er I mean... moving right along...it is good because I rarely see either of them. One is a lawyer, who I know if I really got to know him would most likely be either a) an ass, b) gay or c) both (not because all lawyers are gay or asses, rather because he just seems like he would be). But he is nice to look at and seems kind of interesting. The second is someone I will basically never see (he works in a different building and I only learned of his existence a month or so ago), but it is nice to know he is out there. Besides being the perfect fit for the family (from what I can tell in googling him he is a chemical engineer and was in the Peace Corps) he graduated from Michigan, and that would be worth it just to piss my sister off (heh, not that I would ever want to piss her off).

It is amazing how something as small as an unrequited, totally for fun crush can impact your quality of life. I am actually much happier now that I have the possibility of running into either of these people in the course of my day. My advice to you all, go find a crush!

I lurrrve these shoes

I am not wearing any pants in this picture.... now you can't stop thinking about it can you?

When I have more space on flickr and the clothes come I will post a fashion show.

There was literally a deer in my headlight.

So, as promised, the deer story. The night I moved into my new condo I drove my parents down to my brother's house. After mooching dinner (ruebens) and seeing the kids in their Halloween getups I headed back to Fern Pl. to park my car. I, thinking I was on a major highway that no deer would be stupid enough to try to cross, was speeding along at approximately 75 mph.

BAM!

Suddenly, a deer and I are trying to exist in the same space at the same time. He clips my front end, but I keep motoring. I don't think I actually ran over him, and he didn't go over my car, so I think he just "bounced" (as much as a deer can bouce) back into the median.

I keep driving. I have no freaking clue what to do when one hits a deer at that velocity on a dark highway. Obviously this requires a call to my brother, knower of all things. Basically, he confirms that I did the right thing. No reason to put myself in danger by pulling over on a highway at night for a little fresh venison.

I hope the deer died. Fitz, calm down I will explain.

If he did not die when I hit him, he would have definitely been hurt to the point that he probably would not have been able to do much for himself and would probably end up starving to death which... I, at least, would prefer to die quickly than linger on in pain.

So man, that put a downer on this post. Well if nothing else, the deer went out in style doing $2000 worth of damage to my car (which you can see here.)

Suggestions

please on how I can work this shoe into a holiday ensemble. Really, I just need a good excuse to buy it in the next two months. Why? Because I WANT it ... what other reason do I need? I promise I will wear it all of the time. It can go with work clothes and casual clothes. It is a multi-purpose shoe. And, it is cute.

So why was this a good idea?

Please, someone remind me why I wanted a place of my own.

I got home tonight, opened the locks fine (this is important) and changed to go to the gym. I walked over there and asked what I needed to do to change my membership, got the info and left (I needed a travel pass to work out tonight). So, I get back to my apartment approximately 15 minutes after leaving it, and cannot get the door open. I tried for a good 5 minutes and then decided that I needed to calm down and not get anxious. So, I walked up to the roof deck (I figured it would be a good idea to walk since I didn't get to workout) and sat down for a few minutes. I walked back down and tried again. No dice. My neighbor came home and she tried (a new neighbor, I may actually remember her name) for a few minutes and she had no luck either. So, I made my way down to the front desk. There they gave me the conveience key, I tired it for a few minutes and nada. I went back downstairs and they gave me the emergency keys, this time they didn't even turn the lock a little bit. I went back downstairs again and was advised to try one more time before we called in the after hours maintenance man... and this time? Success! Woo Hoo! Plus, I feel that I didn't miss the gym too much since I walked 37 flights of stairs.

Obviously I am in now, but I am never locking the top lock again. That is until the come to fix and/or replace it on Friday. In other words, please don't try to steal from me until then, it won't be much of a challenge.

In like Flynn...

Okay, not really, but I am all moved into my new place. I expect you all to come visit me, just not all at once.

Oh, and Thank God!

Maybe someone associated with Bush does have common sense. Or, is that giving her too much credit?

They do NOT understand who they are dealing with

Because if they did they would know that I am anal retentive and like to have things planned out. And, that when they say they are going to provide me an estimate a week to 48 hours beforehand, I expect to see an estimate a week to 48 hours beforehand... not less than 24 hours beforehand.

What if I don't have enough money to close? They have now limited what I can do to fix that problem. Actually, they have almost completely prevented me from fixing that problem.

Can I take any legal action against them for this? Because if I lose the condo because of them I will not be happy. Also, they have, thus far, caused me a lot of pain and suffering.

Sorry, this is my freak-out for the day, and really it is just part of my on going freak-out.

ACK!

Making a cake

While it is nice to make a cake, especially for a special occasion, do I really need a complete stranger in the elevator at the MLK Jr. Library to suggest I go home and make one? I think not. And creepy.

However, in a completely unrelated tangent, I predict that after I move I will begin blogging about movies again. This is because a) I will have no roommates to distract me from this endeavor and b) work is slow again.

Please keep in mind this is only a prediction and I could be completely wrong and/or lazy and therefore this may not come to be.

Something to be happy about

Well at least something for me to be happy about and the rest of you to be jealous about... I just realized that from now until the week of January 29, 2006, I only work 1 full five-day work-week.

Let us all bask in this, shall we?

Hmmm, I may have to be "sick" one day that week (12/04-12/10).

I never thought I would do this.

I can't believe that I am even admitting to this... I went on a walk this afternoon, but didn't want to take my purse. However, I did want to take my wallet, camera, and some papers with me. Being as the walk was going to be about 2.5 miles round trip I knew I needed to be comfortable, which walking with the papers in one hand and the wallet and camera in the other , or any other combination was not. So, I broke down and put my wallet in my bra. That is correct. I used my bra as a carrying device for other something other than the obvious. Just like you see all the slightly (or not so slightly as the case may be) run-down women in movies store the cash there, I put my wallet there (sans money though since I have none). I am so ashamed.

UPDATE: 1:00 AM Oct 7, 2005
So I was changing into my PJs (sorry, not shants), and I noticed a slight discoloration around the upper breast area...my orange wallet DYED my boob from the sweat while I was walking. Who knew this would happen?

Speechless

Ah....No, ...ah...just, no.

I thought I wrote about them earlier, but I couldn't find it in the archives. Maybe it was all just a figment of my imagination, which is what I hope this whole relationship turns out to be: Just a figment of our collective imagination.

Totally worth the price of admission

You can see the rest of the pictures at iTurk. And if anyone knows how to get movies off of my camera and onto my computer let me know!

Again, everybody is doing it

So, for those of you who live under a rock. I kinda bought a house today. Because it wasn't a hectic enough of a day with the end of the fiscal year and the Coldplay concert tonight.

More details will be forthcoming.

Everybody is doing it.

No, seriously read the results...

turk took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting n..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

So... huh, yeah

So I am not quite sure what made me do this today, but I did it anyway. I guess I will see how things shake out.

Is your curiosity sparked?

Can you even imagine what I might be talking about?

So, not only do I have the possibility of buying a house in the near future (if I like something I see this weekend), moving out of Fern Pl (again... only if I have a place to move into, but I have a good feeling about going to see places tomorrow), I might have to do it all from Texas or the surrounding areas.

That's right, for reasons beyond me, I volunteered to go down after Hurricane Rita goes through to help with FEMA. It would be a 30 day detail if I am chosen. And, I will most likely be chosen (they are taking almost anyone). I told them I would be available after October 3. So, now I guess it is just time to wait and see what happens.

I think I am doing it because, I need to do something and I wasn't able to go down for Katrina because of the end of the fiscal year and the business trio I had to take. I felt like I should be doing more than giving my $20 to buy school kits for kids effected by Katrina. I felt like I needed/wanted to do more but didn't know how. This way still get to help, but hopefully it won't be quite as big of a disaster as New Orleans and Mississippi.

It should be an adventure.

Pollimicon

Two Questions:
Question 1: How do you feel about a man in capri pants?
a) Fine. They are just another form of clothing. People are free to wear what they want.
b) Questionable. True they are another form of clothing, but on a man? I am unsure.
c) Not so good. Seriously, they are "girl" pants.
d) Eh, who cares?
e) They really should look into some shants.

Question 2: How do you feel about a man who appears to have shaved his legs? Please explain.


Obviously this poll comes about because I saw both of these phenomena earlier this week. I will reveal my answers later in the comments section.

Bush Bashing Bandwagon

You have probably seen or done both of these things, but just in case.

Number 1.

Number 2:
Step A: open Google
Step B: Type "failure"
Step C: click "I'm feeling lucky"

Oh, Poor Turk's Car

The night started like any other night. I went over to Angela's for dinner and to make coconut cuppy-cakes. Even with the failed "killer biscuits" and the flour and kosher salt everywhere, the night was still pretty good. There were no major catastrophes and I didn't end up at home screwing around on the computer all night. But you may have noticed my last post was at 3 AM. Seriously, when was the last time you knew me to have stayed up till 3 AM? Besides while reading Harry Potter I mean. Right, never. Most nights I am snoring (if I do in fact snore) by 11:30 or 12. So what was I doing?

Not at Angela's making/eating cupcakes the whole time.

Not that I wouldn't have preferred there or to be bored at home.

No.

I was stuck.

Stuck on the side of the road, less than a mile from home.

With a flat tire that needed replacing before I could actually GO home.



That's right. I ended up on parked in the Mr. Car Wash parking lot for more than THREE hours last night because I ran into the curb (oops.. I knew I no longer went that way for a reason) and my tire blew.

I called Ford Roadside Assistance (FRA) and asked to have someone come change my tire (hmmm... maybe I should learn how to do this one day.) they told me it would be an hour before someone could come help me. I actually thought that was pretty fast, so I was happy.

Angela (who had been in front of me going to get gas)returned, with Slurpee, and we hunkered down listening to music and playing on our cell phones (she was playing tetris, I was playing bejeweled). Then we got the call... It would be more like an hour and a half or more before someone could come and help me.

This is when we started thinking... hmmm, who could get here faster?

PETE!

Oh, wait, hmmm... Abi is in Montana on a Dude Ranch.

We don't actually know Pete's last name.

I don't even have Christina's number to see if she knows Pete's number.

And no one is answering the phone at home.

So, we accepted our fate and we waited for a long, long time.

Around 3 AM the FRA guy finally showed up. He was nothing that I imagined he would be. Did he have a tow truck? No.
Did he have a broken down Geo Tracker with the back window out and evidence of duct tape repair methods? Yes. Did he inspire confidence in his ability to change the tire? Only in the way that he had two jacks in his car.

Regardless, he did change my tire and I was able to get home. So I thank him for that, but not much else. It was only later when I went to get a new tire I found out he tried to kill me.

Maybe I should have tipped him.

Apparently, as the nice gentleman at NTB told me, the FRA guy had only completely tightened 3 of the 5 lug nuts on the spare. Awesome. I am totally calling Geico Roadside Assistance next time. Or maybe I will even shell out some money for AAA.



I figured I deserved this.

Mamma's got a brand new bag!

Yes, yes I did buy another bag. And no, do not ask me how much it was. But, isn't it pretty?

Tomorrow, or actually, later today I will tell you of my adventures that lead me to posting at 3 AM. I promise it will be worth it. I also promise that it will be a longer post than the last few.

My Angel is a Centerfold

My first picture!

Update: 09.01.05
Man this is going to be dangerous. Thank goodness I only have a 16 MB memory card....for now, ha.

Freeze Frame

Watch this space! I just bought a new camera... so be ready to see some pictures here.

Butterstick

So the National Zoo is allowing the public to vote on the new panda's name. We get five choices there.

However, as many people have pointed out, the most obvious choice, Butterstick, has been left off of the ballot.


Until now that is. Do you think you really have to leave your email to vote?

George Saved Me!

So, when I came down to bed tonight The Spider had returned. (Which makes me think he has been visiting every night. There is no telling how many times he has watched me go to the bathroom.) This time, since I was home all alone (nobody loves me, sniff, they all left for the weekend), I took the advice I had been given and threw George at The Spider.

No. Literally. I threw him.

Don't judge me.

I really did try to just coax him (George) into the bathroom first, but to be really successful with that I would have had to put myself between George and The Spider. Which... no. So, since time is always of the essence when dealing with large arachnids, I tossed George into the bathroom in the general vicinity of The Spider.

At first I was worried George wouldn't be interested (The Spider wasn't moving), but after a few second things started to happen. A little movement. A little flipping. A little chasing back under the wall. And The Spider was back on his side of the basement.

So, while not dead maybe at least a little scared off of this side. And, I am not actually sure I want The Spider gone. I have noticed an amazing drop in the number of Spider Crickets compared to last year.

Maybe The Spider and I can work out a time-share on the bathroom.

Oh, also, originally I was going to put a different spider picture or fact with each time I used "The Spider" and then I couldn't because it grossed me out too much to look through all of the pictures. I can't help it! They give me the heebie-jeebies.

Ooh, ooh that smell....

So, I was listening to the local "Classic Rock" station while going to sleep last night when Nirvana comes on the radio.

That's right, that Nirvana.

Now, I realize Nevermind came out in 1991, and they had apparently started in 1987. But, Nirvana, Classic Rock? In the same sentence?

Is this what it feels like to get old?

I think I need to go lay down.

PS: Have we noticed that I post more often when people aren't around? I have no one to play with :(

And I already used "Ack!"

The itsy, bitsy spider, climbed up the water spout.
Down came the rain and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain,
So the itsy, bitsy spider went up the spout again.

Yeah, we all know the song (even if some people say eensy weensy - Dorks). It's cute...ish. However, this does not protect you from them when they invade your bathroom. Why are all the big bugs going after me?

I was visited this morning by a very large brownish-blackish fuzzy spider this morning in the bathroom. And I do mean large, it was at LEAST 75% larger than a US quarter. He was sitting next to the toilet against the wall (that is shared with Ron's "workshop" - read "pot greenhouse" - okay I don't actually know what it is, but he is mighty secretive about it)watching me pee with everyone of his eight beady little blood-sucking eyes.

Obviously I got out of there as soon as possible, skipping part of my morning routine, and of course I shut the door firmly behind me so that he couldn't roam the apartment while I was gone.

Shut-up.

I know he didn't use the door to get in, but I was already thinking about when I got up to go to the bathroom last night without turning on the light. I needed a false sense of security that he wouldn't be in my bed when I got home. (Oh gross! He could have come from anywhere in the apartment including my bed.) What if I had stepped on him? What if he bit me?

Maybe this was because I didn't like Spiderman 2.

Ack!

Don't get excited, this isn't the Ferris Bueller post. Instead, this is about Condo Search '05.

Today I began the great Condo search. I met with my realtor, Lori, to look at places in DC. Besides the fact that she isn't Bob Goldfinger (whom I haven't even met), she seems pretty nice.

I saw a few places, from the very small (less than 400 sq. ft.) to the very '70s (half cylindrical (originally I forgot the "n" in cyliNdrical and the spell checker suggested "clitoris" as the replacement word... heh) roofs and a lot of shiny aluminum (...on the outside). There was one promising place, I am just not sure of the neighborhood (anyone know about 13th St. close to Colorado Ave (and Colorado Kitchen)?).

So, if you have any ideas of what I should look for, where I should look, know someone who is selling, or what questions I should ask when I see places leave a comment.

Bueller, Bueller....Bueller

So I know it has taken me awhile to get this one up. I am not sure what is wrong, but I just found it incredibly hard to come up with anything for Ferris. Make of that what you will, but I think the movie is so witty that I knew I couldn't live up to it, so why try? So what you see is what you get and don't expect anything more.

In fact, much like Ferris didn't show up for school the review will not be showing up before the end of the month. So, you can SHUT IT.

I copied Court!

You should too:

Two posts in one night... what the eff?

I am, apparently, a person very open to suggestion. But seriously, who wants to go bowling ?

What you don't expect to see on the street corner.

Obviously you can see just about anything in the city. Circus anmials walking down the steet to street performers banging on 5 gallon drums or playing the saxophone or the ocassional home-made cello. Whatever. You know what you don't see? A man, approximately 25 years old, rockin' out on the BAGPIPES. Yeah, that's right. Bagpipes. How annoying must that be for the people that work in those office building? Yet, for me on I had a smile for the rest of my trip home, and even now, while I think about it a slight smirk. I slaute you bagpipes boy, but for your own good pick another street corner. Because, damn the sound of those things carries.

Please Stay Tuned

Recently I have gotten some flack for not including enough '80s/childhood memory themed posts. To these individials I say: Don't keep me down man. I'll write what I want to write. Fight the power!

Just to let you all know I have multiple entries in the works. And, if you are all good, I will post something here this week.

And by "if you are good" I mean if I am not lazy.

And by "this week" I may mean "this month."

Depends on how much I can work on them while at work.

Beep Beep

Guess how smart I am ? I tried to unlock the front door by using the key fob for my car. You know that little thing that locks and unlocks the doors, opens the trunk, and has the "panic" button? Yeah, that. I pointed it at the front door of the house and pressed the unlock button. For approximately .02 seconds I was surprised when the door didn't open. Then I realized I was an idiot. D'oh. I am SMRT.

Full Disclosure

The secrets of Ben and Jerry were revealed to me tonight. I know all. I saw all. They told me that if I tell you I have to kill you. Or maybe just give you a paper cut... but definitely one of those really bad ones in the webbing between your fingers (did you ever realize what a fun word webbing was? Try saying it... web-BING, WEBB-ing, oh just try it is fun. But don't do it too much or the world will lose all meaning).

Anyway, Lisa (I am so on a first name basis) told us to arrive in room M-07 of the Old Post Office Pavilion (OPOP) between 5:30 and 6. Now, I work right across the street, so I tried to stay at my desk, but it just didn't work, I am impatient. I arrived at OPOP at approximately 5:33. It was at this point I realized that while I was a dork did I really want to be the dork that shows up first? Twenty-five minutes early? No, no I did not (these were the cool kids I was meeting after all). So, instead I sat on a bench and played Bejeweled on my cell phone (best $5 ever), always keeping one eye out for other Chunk Spelunkers. I waited for two to go in and then I followed.

We ended up being a motley bunch, 9 Chunk Spelunkers, 1 mini-spelunker (someone brought their kid), and 5 Ben and Jerry's representatives (including two flavor gurus). Lead by Lucas (my future husband if her weren't already married), a BJ's consumer/marketing guy, we split into two groups. Both groups would be testing the same two products. Each group would also have a couple of BJ's people to ask questions and take notes. I just happened to end up at the same table as Luke (I swear I sat down first) and Michael and John (whom I recognized from the website), plus three more BJ's fans like myself.

After a quick round of introductions (I may have mentioned the multiple Vermonsters and the $234 Free Cone Day), it was onto the business at hand.

Product 1:
It started off with a short description my Luke and then a list of instructions. Yeah, you heard me, instructions to eat ice cream. This was not starting well. Here they are reproduced:

1. Roll container between hands for 5-10 seconds.
2. Remove lid.
3. Invert container on a plate.
4. Put your left leg in and shake it all about.
5. Press down in the center of the bottom of the container and pull the rest of the container off of the frozen dessert.
6. Remove disk from top of frozen dessert and enjoy. Sauce should now be freely flowing down the side of the dessert.

Basically it turned out to be a sundae. In our case it had a graham cracker crust, 1/2 pint of strawberry ice cream, and strawberry sauce. But, as we were told, flavor was not important, rather it was the concept they were most interested in.

Now personally, I found this not all that exciting. Good, although I didn't finish, but not unique. I thought it took too long to get into and was too large for one person, while maybe not large enough for two. I thought I might buy it one time for the novelty and then never again. Although I could also see this as neat things for picnics or BBQs. And I didn't think I would ever eat it by myself.

Others had a different opinions. Called it more of an ice cream cheesecake. They thought it would be a good alternative after a nice dinner party. And that this might be positioned against the more upscale Häagen-Dazs. And that they would eat this anytime, even all alone. Not to say they were wrong or anything (they totally were), just different (and wrong).

After a little more discussion we moved on.

Product 2:
We were presented with packages that reminded me of Astronaut Ice Cream. Again, Luke read us a short paragraph describing the product. This time instead of instructions, the description was more focused on health and breakfast.

Hmmm, ice cream for breakfast sounds really very healthy to me.

We all unwrapped and dug in. This time the flavor was more (as was later confirmed) like Dastardly Mash. While I don't think I ever tried the ice cream, I really enjoyed this incarnation. The concept and the execution of the particular flavor that we were trying. I told them I thought this would be a good brunch/late afternoon or 3AM snack, but I wasn't sure I could see myself eating it for breakfast. We were all pretty much in agreement here. We suggested maybe to get more of that "it really is good for you" feeling they should team up with Nature Valley or Nutrigrain.

I think I was the only one that really liked this product though. And in the end, even I didn't vote for it when they asked which we thought they should go forward with production (not that they would take my word). I just think that convincing us that ice cream is healthy and we can eat if for breakfast might still be a little too out there even in this day and age.

Finally, my belly full of ice cream and a smile on my face I picked up my box o' free stuff and made my way home. I was going to try to wait until I got home to open the box with the roommates, but I just couldn't wait and I snuck a peak on the metro (good thing too since basically no one was home when I got there). For my troubles I got a thermal latte mug, a pint cozy, a pint lock, a key chain, coupons, and a pencil.

All in all it was awesome and I would do it again anytime they want me. Especially if Luke has gotten a divorce by that point.

Sweet nectar of the gods

So, first off, thank God I still check my hotmail account and, when there, check out what ended up in the Junk Mail folder. If not, I may have missed the opportunity of a life time. Fine, not a life time, but at least the opportunity of the week.

Anyway, I am checking the aforementioned email account junk folder, when I notice an email from Lisa Sholk. It is not her name so much as the subject line that stands out to me : Be a Ben and Jerry's Taste Tester. Of course, the first thought I had was, "hey look at this scam targeted at me." The next was, "hmmm, is it really a scam? I better check, just in case." I am not sure what I was expecting, because why would BJ's be emailing me? I hadn't submitted any flavors lately, I haven't enrolled in any contests, I haven't really even eaten BJ's since free cone day more than a month ago. Even though it made no sense, I checked anyway... and guess what? Yours truly is now an official taste tester for BJ's. Turns out Lisa is the consumer services coordinator.

The question now becomes, what do I wear? Dork out and wear my BJ's shirts? Keep it cool and wear my work clothes? Just try to casually flash my BJ's stickers on various water bottles? Hmmm....

If I am allowed I will give you the scoop (heh) on Thursday as to what I got to try and whay kind of free stuff they gave me incompensation.

HA!

This should interest those of you who like to read the comments on this blog. PtheP (aka the Knower of all things grammatical) on Gene Weingarten's chat says I'm RIGHT!...Finally.

For PtheP: My roommate and I were discussing grammar, and I told her that my friend's dad says if you don't want to end a sentence with a preposition, you should end it with "slut." Like, "Where's your boyfriend at, slut?" But she said that it's now acceptable to end a sentence with a preposition (!). Is this true? Because if so -- ack.

Gene Weingarten: Pthep responds:

Yes, it's perfectly fine to end a sentence with a preposition in any but the most formal writing. That said, the Friend's Dad Solution is so wonderful that it's almost worth bringing back the restriction. On the other hand, why stop at prepositions? I think that adding "slut" would be an excellent improvement to just about ANY declarative or interrogative sentence, you slut.

So sad.

So, last night Court, Angela, and myself attempted to watch the season finale of GG. I say attempted because the tape we used to record the episode (because as you remember we were out for my birthday) was total crap.

I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say we could get clear audio about 10% of the time and a clear picture about 2% of the episode.

But, Court and I persevered (Angela read a magazine) and we watched anyway. I am not inclined to say it was worth it... but I feel that is a direct result of not actually being able to follow the whole story line since, well you know fuzzy and whatnot. Hopefully Sarahkat will allow us to borrow her tape (although apparently she cut off the last two minutes... which we were actually able to piece together) and that will tide us over until next season.

Sadly, this is not the first time I have watched the unwatchable. I am sure at least one sibling remembers me watching 3-2-1 contact or Bill Nye the Science Guy on a channel we didn't so much as get. But at least there I had most of the audio.

Apparently I have 49 years left to live

Man, do I love to start a post on an upswing. So, today is my 26th Birthday. Woo hoo! Sadly, the day will be spent at work. Boo hoo :( But, at least I am being treated to both lunch and dinner.

I have been trying to find out who shares my birthday or what events took place on this most important day. So far, I have found that nothing good happened and no one good shares my b-day. With the obvious exception of a former member of NKOTB.

However, interestingly, I did find out that one of my favorite movies of all time supposedly takes place on my birthday, and that the saxophone was patented on my birthday (as you know an instrument I once played)... coincidence? Yeah, probably.

Jake Ryan?! He's a Senior and he's taken. I mean really taken.

I know, I know it has been awhile since I have posted anything here with substance. Much less, posted anything good. Hopefully this post will keep you at least mildly entertained (I know writing it helped me get through work... especially when the computer didn't want to save my original version of this beginning (stupid work computer. Hate. You.) and I had to re-write the first few paragraphs. Just be aware that this, not as funny as what I originally wrote, it was perhaps the best opening ever... but now it is lost an gone forever, and this is just a tribute).

Writing up Sixteen Candles has actually been fairly difficult for me. While I love the movie so much, I hate doing work, even if it is voluntary work. Because, let's review: Turk=lazy, I heart my bed, and last write-up = too much work. I am attempting this time to be a little more reasonable in my movie posting. I am going to try to strike a balance between my love of the movie and wanting to share that love with people and they OCD insanity of the last movie post. At the same time I am going to try to have a better split between recap and review. Please do not think any changes in format or what I do or do not include here reflect my preference for The Breakfast Club over Sixteen Candles. That is just not true. Sixteen Candles is definitely in my top five movies, while The Breakfast Club would probably only be in my top 10. It may not seem that different, but believe me, it's the difference between a 1967 Mustang 500E and a regular Mustang. They sound like they could be the fairly similar but they are totally different. (Although if any one wanted to buy me either one I would never complain.)

Hmm, everyone may not get that reference, what is one that normal people would understand? Okay, okay I got it. It's like the difference between Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby, that perfect blend of salty and sweet, and Low-Fat Frozen yogurt, a good replacement if your trying to lose weight, but it is just not the same.

So try to remember back to your sixteenth birthday, or really any "milestone" birthday. Maybe you had a party, maybe you just hung out with the 'rents , maybe you had an exam (yes, I'm looking at you 21st b-day and O. Chem final), regardless of what you were doing someone wished you a Happy Birthday. It was acknowledged in some way. Now imagine if your parents and the rest of your family forgot it. This is what happens to Samantha Baker. She had dreamed of her Sweet Sixteen since she was 12: a big party, a band, tons of people, and a Trans Am (it's no Mustang, but I can't really fault her there, Mustangs in the '80s were not cool). None of her family remembers.

Now, my family has actually has some experience in this. We may have accidentally forgotten Elaine's birthday once, sometime in her teenage years, I'm not sure which one. Well not so much as forgotten it as poorly planned for it (we ended up shopping for her b-day presents after her b-day dinner). Whoops.

Anyway back to Samantha. Her birthday morning ruined she ends up school unprepared to take a "sex test" she didn't study for...Huh, wha? How did she plan on studying for a "sex test" with questions such as "Have you ever done it" (Her answer: "I don't think so"), rather than, you know, actual test questions, but I digress. Of course in this "test," where she also names who she would do it with if she ever does it (Jake Ryan), ends up in the hands of someone other than her best friend Randy. The test does however make it to Jake.

Samantha's humiliating day does not end there.... she now has to face the bus dorks.

I never really had to ride the bus in school. I mean I rode the bus in high school, but a) all girls school and b) Cincinnati public bus, not the traditional yellow school bus. This movie (and Ferris Bueller) however has provided me with the mental image of school bus insanity I will always carry. Dorks with jock straps and laser guns, a weird girl in a neck brace, a kazoo band, and Farmer Ted. This is our first run-in with FT as he tries, in vain, to spark Samantha's interest.

Finally at home, Samantha believes her day is starting to look up, her grandparents have invaded for Ginny's wedding; surely, they wouldn't forget her birthday, they live for that stuff (I don't care if in the actual movie they say shit, after watching it for a decade or two as "stuff," even knowing that is not what she is really saying, I just can't actually hear shit in my head). This maybe true for smaller families, but I was always lucky if I got a card from my grandparents. Needless to say at this point, since I think you can see where this movie is headed (hey I like the movie, but I never claimed it wasn't predictable, it is a teen movie from the '80s be glad it is not as raunchy as others), not even the grandparents remember her birthday. And to top it all off, her grandmom feels her up and she will be sleeping on the couch due to the addition of a foreign exchange student, Long Duk Dong, that came with her grandparents... ah this is the birthday nightmares are made of.

Samantha gets out of the house as soon as possible, albeit with Long Duk Dong, to go the "New Faces Dance." (What the hell kind of dance name is that?)

This just isn't Sam's day, once again she is intercepted at the dance by Farmer Ted. He is trying to and avoid losing his bet of 12 floppy disks to his dipwad friends (awww... look at John Cusack, cutie-patootie-head-nog-nog) by "bagging" a babe. The proof? Underpants. I guess underpants, because one can assume if you can get them you can get into them? No way you could just go buy a pair.

After some awkward dancing Samantha makes her way to shop class (at least what I assume to be the shop class, do they have cars in shop class? I usually associate shop more with wood crafts) to wallow in her general disappointment in her birthday. Never one to give up easily Farmer Ted follows her.

Surprisingly, they end up having a fairly good conversation, that is after a slightly unfortunate faux pas ( "I think I just felt how much you like me.... on my leg"). At the end they have a better understanding of each other and are almost friendly. And, as in the beginning of many great friendships, Samantha hands over her underpants to help a geek out.

In a stroke of movie destiny and plot development, Farmer Ted and Jake Ryan are brought together when Jake finds Ted trapped under a coffee table after a rager of a party. For the second time that night Farmer Ted has a heart to heart and learns that Jake isn't just interested in a pretty faces, but wants a real relationship. Ted shows what a stand up guy he actually has the potential to be and points Jake in Samantha's direction. In what has to be the most uneven trade ever, Jake get Samantha's underpants in exchange for the prom queen and a Rolls Royce.

By this time Samantha's family has finally realized they missed her birthday and it is the perfect time for a cozy chat between father and daughter. As is required of every parent Sam's father assures her, that any guy who doesn't notice her is a dork and not worth her time.

Finally, the big wedding day, and Ginny is trashed on muscle relaxers, but that is okay, this movie is not about her. As many little girls dream, Jake seeks Samantha out at the church to ask her out. They end up back at his house on the table. Jake has returned her underpants and gave Sam the best sweet sixteen ever.

Jake: Happy Birthday Samantha. Make a wish.
Samantha: It already came true.

Sigh.

When am I going to find my Jake Ryan? This movie totally ruined me for, you know, actual men. Nobody can stand up to the perfection that is Jake Ryan.

Review:
I love this movie. It is a great example of what a teen movie should be. The parents and kids get along for the most part. It's not too raunchy, or have too much in the way of gross-out humor; yet it is still hilarious. For the most part the main characters aren't acting like idiots. Rather, through fairly sweeping generalizations (much like the sweeping generalizations of this review) the stereotypes portrayed in the movie allow it to be accessible by most everyone. Everyone had the cool kids, the dipshits, the weird foreign kid; we can all relate to the characters in this movie. We have all been there. They allow the simple truths to be brought out. Not everyone is perfect. The heroine of the movie is relatable because she has insecurities. She isn't perfect; she doesn't have some special quality/talent about her just dying to get out with the help of the right teacher/friend/significant other. She is normal; she doesn't stand out too much; she isn't a dork, and while not popular she isn't insignificant. It is a modern day, okay fine, '80s modern day fairy tale.

The beauty of this movie really is in its simplicity. Unlike The Breakfast Club there is no forced drama really. Nobody's parents abuse them. Nobody tried to kill themselves. Nobody beat up another classmate. This is more of a day in the life of a typical teen. Every problem is huge at the time, but in retrospect, they're not really worth getting worked up over.

Sure, maybe in the end everything is wrapped up too neatly. The less than beauty queen sophomore ends up with the hunky senior and the Prom Queen ends up with the freshman geek. But, really, did I watch this movie for the reality? No. I watched this movie for Jake Ryan and it is everything I could want from a movie.

Funny? Check.
Relatable Characters? Check.
Hot Guy? Hummina, hummina...a... check I mean.
Love Story? Check.
Happy ending? Check.
'80s soundtrack? Check.
'80s fashion? Check.
Feathered hair? Check.

See what I mean, it's the perfect movie. I award this movie the highest honor of 5 out of 5 gobbles.

Believe it or not this is actually way shorter than the last one. I totally could have made this longer, I left so much out (almost all of the Long Duk Dong parts). Why couldn't I have had this problem while writing papers in college?

Jake vs. Johnny

I am so confused as to what I should do! I watched Sixteen Candles last week and weekend, but then I received 21 Jump Street in the mail yesterday... So, of course I had to watch at least the pilot episodes last night (and convince myself that I don't actually have to watch both discs). I love Sixteen Candles, but 21 Jump Street was just so badly good that I really want to review/recap it RIGHT NOW; I suddenly understand Meg Wood better. I am torn as to what I should put up here next. Plus, I still have Ferris Bueller's Day Off at home to watch. And of course I don't want to send that one back and not watch it; I would just have to put it right back in the queue. But I can't get any more DVDs until I return it or Jump Street, and I can't think of a better way to spend a weekend than watching a marthon of the first season (I only currently have the first two DVDs) of the best of cheesy-'80s TV (I mean, do we really think Doug Penhall would have worn a "Just Say No to Drugs" shirt at any point in this supposed TV show world?). Imagine it... snacks... laptop... comfy bed or couch...the only care in world being whether our fearless baby-faced cops are going to get their covers blown. What else could a girl want? Okay, maybe a man-servant to feed me bon bons and scratch my head, but other than that?... Okay maybe a new Mustang and a house for free too, but other than that?... Fine, world peace, and an end to world hunger, blah blah blah, but really, other than that? You got it, nothing, there is nothing better. I'm glad you see it my way.

Decisions, decisions. I wish all of my problems were as trivial as this.

UPDATE: My perfect plan is foiled the first season is 4 DVDs long, yet my membership to Netflix is only three at a time. Curses!

Who even knew?

Did anyone even realize that, boiled down, there are the equivalent of train/bus operator Olympics?

Do you think they have groupies?

Whoa

So, after a random journey through some of the DC area themed blogs, I stumbled upon this story. Apparently the CEO of Opera Software (I think it might be a browser) said he would swim from Norway to the US (with a stop in Iceland to have some hot cocoa with Mom) if the new version was downloded a million times in the first four days after the release.

If nothing else, the website is fairly hilarious, and being that I am open to all kinds of suggestion, I kind of want to download it now myself. I don't even care if it is all totally fake.

Time for a good ol' fashion poll...

Okay. So, I finally sat down and watched (maybe in the bath tub) Sixteen Candles the other night (maybe I recited all of the words along with it). So, potentially, later this week we could have another movie post.

But first, a little roo-roo, er... poll. What would we like to see in this next entry? More of a recap like last time (so I can hone my skills and eventually get a job with TWOP)? More of a review (so that I can one day replace Ebert)? Or, more info on the DVD special features? Actually, I can answer this one right now, most of these older movies have no good extras, so no matter what you say I am not going to include anything unless truly spectacular. Anyway, let me know what you want to read.

Know any good Pope jokes?

So, I have a new Pope now, it's this guy. You'll remember from Angela's blog; and that MSNBC described him a the "enforcer of faith," but shy and gentle.

He recently (04/16/27) turned 78, so I wonder, how long Pope Benedict XVI will last? (JPII was 84.) I think, as evidenced by his age, the enclave went with a transitional Pope. It is weird to think of it like that, because I have gone my entire life with only JPII and now we have Benedict XVI, we could have another new Pope (I keep accidentally typing poop), in just a few years.

I wish him well and hope he is not too conservative for all of us "American Catholics."

New Pope Trivia:
1) First German Pope since the 11th century.
2) 265th Pope
3) We may have some hope, his name-sake was a moderate following Pius X

I scream, you scream, your mom screams

for ice cream.

I credit the subject line to Courtney. But, in case you weren't aware it is Ben and Jerry's Free Cone Day.

Boring Day at work

Therefore, you all are rewarded with multiple posts.

So my "Where Are They Now?" Segment. This, I think, will be shorter than I originally envisioned and include only a bear minimum of information. If you want more...follow the links for yourself.

Emilio Estevez (05/12/62 - 22 at the time of TBC release): Will be reprising his role as Coach Gordon Bombay in "The Mighty Ducks 4: The Call of the Quack". Which looks like it could have even more potential sequels. Apparently this is one of his most famous roles ever.

Anthony Michael Hall (04/14/68 - 16 at the time of release): Currently on "The Dead Zone" which is actually a pretty good TV show. Another bit 'o' trivia - Anthony was the youngest cast member of SNL. But, he was only on for one season, because then he entered rehab. As Court would say, "Ah, poor Anthony." (Imagine it in a voice that is not at all sympathetic.)

Judd Nelson (11/28/59 - 26 at the time of release) After the mega hit of "Suddenly Susan", how can he go onto bigger and better things? Obviously he can't. Basically he has been in some, what I can only assume to be, stinker movies (big screen and TV). Next up: a TV movie about a Black Hole in St. Louis...ah, now that one sounds like a winner.

Molly Ringwald (02/18/68 - almost 17 at the time of release) She went to France for awhile and fell off the face of the Earth. Now she is doing some stage acting in NYC and London. As long as she remembers her career started on "The Facts of Life" she will be fine.

Ally Sheedy (06/13/62 - 22 at the time of release) Trivia: Who knew she wrote a book? When she was 12. She was Nice to Mice is about Queen Elizabeth I. More Trivia: She turned down the role of "Charlie" in "Top Gun". Ally really isn't up to anything major. She has a movie that came out at the Southwest Film Festival in March. It also stars Jason Behr, formerly of "Roswell". Dude, I kind of feel sorry for her. She was a member of The Brat Pack.. how the mighty have fallen.

Anyone else a little depressed by the state of these careers (and I use the term loosely)? The only one I am still holding out hope for I AMH, he seems to be doing alright. But they could all use a Tarantino makeover.

Neomaxizoomdweebie

Finished reading yet? Yes? Okay, good. I promise this post is shorter. It may even all fit on your screen at one time.

So, in a continuation of the previous post, here is some TBC (as I have found out through research it is call on the internet) trivia:

1) Emilio Estevez was originally cast as Bender. Okay, how weird would that have been? Granted it is hard to imagine anyone other than Judd Nelson in that role now, but doesn't Emilio just seem too clean cut to have been any good in that role?

2) The library was really a gym and is now a police station.

3) The original run time was 2.5 hours, but the studio didn't think it would be a popular movie and cut it down to 97 minutes. Then they destroyed the negatives.

4) Anthony Michael Hall's actual sister and mom play his sister and mom in the movie. Strangely however, their roles are reversed. Fooled you didn't I? They were actually his mom and sister though.

5) Bender was also originally going to be Nicolas Cage, but he was to expensive (I mean really would we expect the lead of Valley Girl to be available AND cheap?)

6) Rick Moranis was originally cast as Carl the Janitor, but left due to "creative differences." Wha huh? But, it was just the janitor... perhaps I do not understand the craft of acting.

7) Other titles we "Lunch Bunch" and "Library Revolution," both of which STA--INK.

Of course all of this information is gleaned from IMDB

Test your TBC knowledge here. I may or may not have gotten a perfect score.

Damn...

A Brain, an Athlete, a Basket case, a Princess, and a Criminal.

Da da da da! My first recap/review! Woo Hoo! Look at me following through with a plan. Man oh man, although I probably shouldn’t get too excited, this is only number one, the real test will be to see if there is a number two. Because, I have to be honest with you, this was a lot more work than I realized. I mean, I have a four-page OUTLINE for this write up…I never even did outlines for college papers and now I am doing one for a blog? This should show you how committed (or that I should be committed) I am to this blog and bringing you all a quality product. I am going to try to do this in 1000 words (per Mr. Vernon’s assignment), but I hear tell that is three pages, which might be overkill. Maybe we will break the post up. I dunno, we will see what happens.

“The Breakfast Club” Written and Directed by John Hughes – released February 15, 1985

First, I would like to start off by pointing out this is the first time I will not be viewing the edited TV version of this movie. So, I am a little nervous in that respect. Will the additional curse words make me think differently of the movie? I hear on the TV version they cut, like, 20 minutes of the movie out but then added scenes that aren’t in the regular version… can I hold on for an additional 20 minutes without commercial interruption? I don’t know, but I will give it a try.

I should also mention that I heart John Hughes. He is totally my movie writer/director boyfriend. You will see his movies pop up a lot in my reviews (his earlier‘80s movies that is, you won’t see no stinkin’ “Beethoven” or any of it’s sequels on this blog). Generally I would attribute my infatuation with him to my love of romantic comedies involving teenagers (see: 16 Candles (mmm… Michael Schoeffling), Pretty in Pink (really ugly dress), Some Kind of Wonderful (Watts!)), which was who I could relate to when I first saw these movies. So, while The Breakfast Club has does not have a romance it does have both teenagers and comedy (and a kick-ass soundtrack). Plus it has Molly Ringwald. Can it be an teen movie from the ‘80s and not have Molly Ringwald? Maybe, but I don’t think I want to have any part of that (this statement may be retracted at a later date). Yikes! I am at 431 words and I haven’t even started talking about the actual movie.

“…And these children that you spit on as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations. They’re quite aware of what they’re going through…” David Bowie “Changes”

We break through Mr. Stardust’s lyrics to see a non-descript high school in the non-descript Midwest. We go through a montage of various scenes around the high school (including a picture of Carl the janitor as “Man of the Year.” Which begs the question whatever happened to Carl? But, I digress… I know how unusual). Kids are apparently being dropped off for Saturday detention. They all gather in the library (“I know it’s detention, but…um… I don’t think I belong in here…”) where the dean of students/principle/prick, whatever, Mr. Vernon assigns them a 1000 word essay to write explaining who they think they are. Now, I never had to go to regular detention, much less Saturday detention (shut-up, it’s just how I am, I am NOT a goody two-shoes). Obviously this is not what they will be up to all day. Hijinks will ensue. But on a side note, that is a total bullshit essay topic that could be done in a matter of minutes. It’s not like it has to be good or anything; it’s not being graded. I mean, I’ve been working on this for like an hour and I am already up to 673 words and I am not even to the meat of the subject (damn tangents, it’s just that there is so much good stuff to include).

Coming-up is probably one of the most memorable excahnges between characters in this movies or any movie. John Bender removes the screws to the door separating the students from Mr. Vernon. Vernon over hears the kids yelling at Bender to put the screw back, but when he enters no one rats Bender out. I think this shows the solidarity against the man. While they may not agree with what Bender is doing, nobody’s going to be a tattle-tale either. Not even the geek. But, Bender and Vernon get into it anyway (Eat. My. Shorts. On TV it was “eat my socks”, what is up with that? Even Bart is allowed to say shorts.) and John eventually ends up with Saturday detention for the next two months. The exchange is so good though, not only the “eat my shorts” part but the total feeling of the whole scene. We all know Bender is technically in the wrong here, and even though everyone in the library didn’t want him to take out the screw, nobody wants him to get any more detentions. That explanation is simplifying it. Maybe it is more of, we all know that Bender is a tough guy, but he is being treated unfairly, bullied, by the authority figure and no matter how much Bender is egging Vernon on, no one wants to see someone end up with that kind of punishment much less being treated that poorly by another human being; by an adult who should be more concerned about helping the situation rather than about doling out more punishments. Punishments that, in the end, aren’t really going to help anyone. They are not even going to prove that Vernon is a tougher guy (which he’s not, he’s a bully, a power-hungry asshat, stuck in a job he doesn’t like and is taking it out on kids) it is after all, just detention. Not that Bender doesn’t deserve detention, I’m just sayin’ Vernon is worthless asshole. (D’oh already at 1030, guess I will be the over-achieving, brown-nosed, kiss-ass today.)

Oh! Part of a scene I’ve never seen before. Brian has a thing for Claire (if by thing I mean hard-on, which I do). They never show that on TV, they just show Brian putting the hat in his lap. I don’t think I ever realized until now that was why he did that (me = naïve).

Lunch time – okay normally, this probably wouldn’t be mentioned in any other recap…I mean, “…and then they ate lunch” is about as interesting as reading this, no no, wait…I mean watching paint dry, yeah that’s it. What makes this notable is Allison’s, you know the basket case, sandwich. It bears explanation. First two slices of bread, one wheat, one white. Both are covered with mayo and formerly a slice of pastrami or some other lunch meat. Now, however, she adds sugar from what appear to be proto-pixie sticks (pre-color additives?) and original Cap’n Crunch cereal. This always intrigued me as a child. Actually it still does. However, when I was younger I thought it was disgusting and would never even contemplate eating it, now I kind of want to try it for myself and see if it is as repulsing as it has always looked to me. Who wants to join me? Anybody? No? No, takers? Alright, fine, but you’ll be missing out.

Good Lord, the movie is only 97 minutes long (this is miss printed on the label as 92 minutes, liars), how much longer is this blog entry going to be. I don’t know, but bear with me. If you need to read this in a couple of sittings I will understand. Try reading it without clicking on the links first, that’ll help you get through it quicker. It may take a couple of sittings to write it all out. I can say one thing: This level of effort may not be seen in any other posts. At heart I am a slacker, not a perfectionist. I like taking the easy way out.

After determining that Vernon is out of the office the kids all sneak out to Bender’s locker apparently to get some grass, you know herb, ganja, buddha, mary jane, pottery, herbal refreshment, mari-ju-ana (thank you urban dictionary). Of course, this can’t end up well, and they hear Vernon, unknowingly close on their heals. Thus begins the montage of them all running around the school. Until of course the come up to the one gate in school that is closed (we had these gates in my high school too, but they closed off more logical areas. As in if one was close they all were closed. Not just one to advance the plot. But then again, my life isn't a movie.). Bender, I guess figures he is already screwed and takes on for the team (kind of like when someone eats the coconut and walnuts someone else ordered when attempting to finish a Vermonster… ABI… and no you will never live that down), because let’s face it Bender, not really an altruistic guy. What other reason does he have to do this for the rest of them? He doesn’t really seem very fond of any of them. This is my, I’m already in trouble, I might as well get into more trouble theory. Kind of like me and this post. I’m already this far I might as well keep going. He sticks the dope down Brian’s pants, and goes off to re-direct Vernon.

And for his trouble Bender ends up locked in the closet. Man, can you imagine if this happened today? The lawsuits would be a-flyin’. But this then sets up one of the great movie mysteries. Bender crawls through the ventilation system (?) of the school in an effort to get back to the library. He starts telling himself a joke, I guess to get through the tight space and heat? “A naked woman walks into a bar, poodle under one arm and a 2 foot salami under the other. The bartenders says to the naked lady, so I guess you won’t be needing…” However, the drop-in ceiling tiles are unable to bear his weight and he falls through the ceiling into the library. Many have asked, what is the end of the joke, the answer, there isn’t one. They were trying to come up with a joke to the punch line of “I forgot my pencil” and couldn’t. Therefore, Judd Nelson just adlibbed the above. What a let down. A special prize (perhaps a slightly sacrilegious bit of candy?) to the best punch line to the naked lady set up or the best set up to the pencil punch line.

Another part they don’t show on regular TV. They all go to smoke up. Again, I don’t think I ever realized this occurred. I knew they got the marijuana, I knew Bender got it back from Brian, but I guess I just never assumed they would smoke it up in school. I think I assumed Bender just took it home with him. I have no excuse except to say I was not exposed to this sort of thing until I met Abi junior year of college.

Anyway, everyone but Allison goes to smoke-up. Andy even does a little fish-bowling in the Foreign Language Lab. This of course leads to very bad, white-boy gymno-dancing (Andy),everyone looking through everyone else’s wallets, and of course, the other most famous scene in this movie; everyone is sitting around in a circle talking. We find out that Allison would come to school naked for a million dollars and, eventually, that she is not a nymphomaniac, but is a compulsive liar. Claire, is a virgin. Andy got detention by taping a guys butt cheeks together. Brian can’t make a ceramic elephant into a working lap even though shop was supposed to be his easy “A” course. Allison can write with her toes. Claire can put on lipstick with the tube stuck in her cleavage.

John Hughes did a wonderful job in my opinion in bringing out serious subjects: picking on those who are weaker, the pressures of parents and teachers, and most importantly at that point in life, the pressures exerted by peers; while still adding enough levity to not bring the movie down too far. Thought provoking topics are placed right next to lines that will make you laugh. Yet, it is done in such a way as to not harm the intent or meaning of either side. There is a good balance of making the audience think and yet giving them enough room to not become uncomfortable and close themselves off.

Brian then asks the question I think any dork in this situation would have been wondering. What will happen on Monday? Will they still be friends? If I were Brian (who is probably the character that I identify with the most), I am not sure that I would have been thinking of these people in those terms yet, but I would have wanted to know if I would have gotten some sort of acknowledgement (a nod, a wave, a “hi,” something) once we were back at school. Claire, I feel is truthful, and says no, everything will go back to they way it was before. The rest of the kids start to get on her about that. But, I think that is more out of them not wanting to believe they would do that to another human being. They all recognize that it’s not morally right to do that to someone, but Claire points out that the social pressures of the cliques will most likely get to them.

Brian finally admits why he is in detention. He brought a flare gun to school and contemplated killing himself.

Allison admits she doesn’t even have to be there; but, she had nothing better to do.

See what I mean? Seriousness balanced by levity.

Anyway, Bender goes back to the closet. Claire convinces Brian to write the essay for everyone (a. not that it was a group project to begin with and b. not that his essay ends up being anywhere even close to 1000 words (2386* here so far)), makes Allison over (enough so that Andy notices and takes an interest in her), and goes to see Bender in the closet (he would be outstanding in the capacity of getting back at her parents).

They all leave for the end of the day. Andy and Allison say goodbye (she rips off one of his patches). Brian gets in the car with his dad (cameo by John Hughes). Claire gives Bender one of her diamond earrings.

We are left with a feeling of hope I think; I want to believe that we are. On Monday, will they really be back to the same-old same-old? Or, will they acknowledge one another? They may not be friends, but in the end there is hope for them.

Okay, so maybe I rushed it a bit at the end… but frankly this section needed to be finished. And anyway, you should go and see the movie. Put it on your Netflix queue.

Over all I give it 4.376 gobbles (a perfect score would be 5 gobbles). It would get more but, as I said in the beginning, no romance and I am a sucker for a romantical plot-line.

And done: 2586*.

*Update: I have changed the wording in a few areas, so these totals are no longer acurate... but they should still be pretty close, and they get the point across that I am a big DORK.

My computer!

It's back! I missed it so much! Oh, little computer, I shall never say your name in vain or under appreciate you ever again!

Even Springer again would be better than this guy.

Nick Lachey can endorse him all he wants, Justin Jeffre (former member of 98º - aka "the ugly one") cannot be Cincinnati's next mayor. This is just too wrong. I am almost speechless.

UPDATE:
Note the template they are using. I guess it is true I should withhold my judgement. But, it is very hard for me to take him seriously. Although, it seems that there are not that many good candidates.

I love you little computer.

Because I am entirely too productive (I cleaned, did laundry, and finished a baby blanket) without my computer, I have broken down and asked my parents to ship mine back to me. I couldn't even last a week without it. How sad is that?

Was there a meeting the other strips didn't know about?

Okay besides being the longest post title ever... what happened in the comic strips today? Did they get together and copy off of each other like in sophomore bio class? Nobody could come up with an original idea? Gene W. will surely be talking about it in his chat next week. I know he has talked about it before, saying that these things are cyclical and are bound to happens sometimes. But seriously, they each have the exact same line in them. They are totally cheaters.

UPDATE:
So, maybe I realized this weekend, while I did not have access to a computer, that this could have been an April Fools joke by the aformentioned cartoonists. D'oh.

UPDATE 2:
Dude, I totally called this one.

Starting up!

So, in my quest to fill my time, while my computer is vacationing in Cincinnati, I have re-joined Netflix. And, since I do nothing half-way, my queue (totally thought it was spelled que) is already up to 120 DVDs. I managed not only to find the 61 movies that I wanted to do but also many of the TV shows that I mentioned earlier, plus Saved by the Bell! Of course, the first review you can expect is The Breakfast Club.